Why “Nice Guys” Fail To Win A Woman’s Heart!
Since I am receiving a multitude of email on this subject every single day, I felt it was time to set the record straight once and for all. Read nice guys…read.
Why do “nice guys” fail so often with women? You divulge too much information too quickly. You appear too needy and too desperate. You try to take care of a woman’s every want, need and desire, before she even knows what they are herself. You leave no mystery. You leave no challenge for women to triumph over. You are fearful that once you leave a woman’s presence, you also leave her mind. What you don’t realize is that if you have captured a woman’s imagination, attention or interest in some way, it is the moment that you leave her presence, she can’t get you out of her mind.
When you smother a woman, by calling too much, emailing too often, texting too often, being around all the time, you send a very strong message that you have low self-esteem and have little confidence that she will want you just for you or just to be with you. If a woman can sense that you have a successful, independent, exciting and interesting life WITHOUT HER, she may want a life or relationship WITH YOU. If she can sense that she is your entire focus and “reason for being” she may never want one with you. Why? She doesn’t have to….as you aren’t going anywhere. She can do whatever she wants, date whomever she wants, for as long as she wants, and come back to you weeks, months or years later and be confident that you will STILL be waiting for her. Who wants a guy like that? Not a strong, confident, independent woman who loves a good challenge.
If a woman loses her feeling of passion for you, rarely will she pursue you. Nice guys cause this loss of passion by being too available, too often, in too many ways. Back off, show confidence in yourself and live a life independent of her. Remember, everyone wants what they cannot have. It is okay to let a woman know that you have an interest in her, but then you must have the confidence and courage to back WAY OFF and give her a chance to MISS YOU.
Good luck nice guys, you’re going to need it!
How to Spot a Lie!
Dear Dating Doctor:
We don’t date one another, but realized that we are constantly being lied to by those people we date. We also realized that we aren’t very good at knowing when we are being lied to. How can we get better at spotting a lie?
-Adam and Eve
Dear Sinners,
Like you, I despise being lied to. I see it as the lowest form of cowardice. Usually, I can ascertain that it is happening. But some people are so proficient at lying that it becomes nearly undetectable.
To provide you with as much information as possible, I interviewed a number of people who are “experienced” at being lied to. They ranged from spouses who were cheated on, to landlords, policemen, and IRS agents. Here is a composite list of the characteristics they said to look for. The liar in question may:
- not be able to look you in the eyes. They will avoid eye contact and end it quickly if it accidentally occurs.
- exhibit irregular pauses when speaking. If they pause before speaking, they may be searching for the right words or answer. If they pause at the end, they may be watching your response to see if they successfully pulled off their scam.
- stutter, blink uncontrollably and laugh nervously after speaking.
- continually touch their face, mouth, nose or ears while talking.
- appear nervous or preoccupied. They fidget by tapping their feet, fingers or playing with their jewelry.
- have their exact story down pat. But when interrupted, be unable to resume from the point where they left off.
- contradict themselves. Their version of the truth changes over time.
- talk louder or with their hands to further emphasize their point.
- use the word “really” often. “Really, he/she is only a friend.”
- act surprisingly nice, helpful or caring in order to mask their guilt.
